Kale

So, back to all this heart business…

It would appear that God is doing exactly what I asked him to do. I know, it sounds silly, and maybe a bit arrogant, but when you ask God to make you holy, I don’t think He hesitates to take you up on it.

I’ve been feeling like everything that I dislike about myself is all I see in the mirror. I know that I’m often too stubborn, pretty prideful, and quite swayed by other’s opinions of me. Well, at least I think I know these things, but I’m sure some of you reading this are saying, “huh? I don’t know what she’s talking about!” and to you precious friends, thanks for seeing me as what I can be J. No, really, I feel like I used to be pretty secure in who I am and what I stand for. Now, I feel like I’m all wishy-washy b/c God has been challenging me so much. He’s asked me to not only see the world differently, but also to see people I can’t relate to and often don’t understand as family. Not to mention he’s asked me to leave behind all comfort and all the people whom I know love me unconditionally to pursue a dream he placed in my heart when I was 14 (to come to Africa, that is). It’s an incredible joy to be here and I count it a privilege, but I find myself asking, “how did I get here?”. In the last week I have battled more fatigue and loneliness than ever before in my life. I love getting out of bed in the morning, but by the time we return from the village at night I’m discouraged, exhausted and homesick, - I’m surprised I’m not actually sick. The kids we’ve been teaching are fantastic and it’s no problem seeing God’s hand in every moment here. I don’t feel spiritually lonely (thank, God!) but I feel emotionally lonely, I guess – it’s homesickness in a different light. Please pray and don’t worry b/c God has been faithful in EVERY step of this journey – it’s His path I’m walking and I’m GLAD to be here.

On a lighter note: Clair and I have decided to sponsor a child with Northern Lights. There are 3 names of children still waiting for sponsors that have stuck out to me and Clair has said he trusts me to choose who we’ll claim as our “son”. Yes, they’re all boys and I had the blessed opportunity to meet one of them today. Please pray that God will choose and that he’ll see our money used to His glory.

So, I talked a lot in my last blog about how God is teaching me about family…the other day, Thursday, I think, we had the pleasure of going to one of our students homes. It just happened to be the same home that Clair visited while he was in Budumbuli as part of his cross cultural. I saw a note left by he and his partner tacked on the mud hut wall, and got to hold te Bible Clair gave to the eldest son. It was such a joy to know that God has put both Clair and I in the same people’s lives! When I read a small note clair had written in the Bible, it was as though he was right there with me – I wanted to weep out of joy! I know God has made that connection for divine reasons! He’s so perfect in His work! Now clair and I both have family in Uganda! Plus, the momma of the house gave us a blessing for both our wedding and our future children. Hooray! Karonda Bulungi! (God is Good!)